Calgone, take me away!

It's one of those days. 

It's 11:22 am and my house is finally quiet.  All 4 children asleep, hopefully to wake up in better moods.  It's been a crazy emotional morning. 

The craziness is partly my fault.  Last night I let the boys talk me into staying up late and watching Star Wars.  It's summer right?  Why not.  They can sleep in. 

Well, they didn't.  Instead they were up at 7:30....that's earlier than they usually wake up. 

Since we were up so early anyway I decided to get the kids dressed and meet some friends for a playdate over at the mall playground.  We were all dressed ready to go, dog in the kennel, and babies buckled in the car seats.  I asked Gavin to scoot over so Zander could get by in the van.  He refused.  Things escalated.  Tears and screaming on his side.  I was at a loss as to what to do.  I told him to get out of the van so we could have a talk.  He refused again.  I told him that if he didn't listen to me then we weren't going to go play with our friends.  He still refused. 

What's a mother to do?  Make empty threats?  Not me. 

So I unloaded the twins....who, by the way, did not understand what was going on and were crushed because we were going back inside.  They both started crying.  Zander was angry at his brother. 

Gavin still refused to get out of the van.  Screaming at the top of his lungs ordering me to take him to the mall.  We all went inside and left him throwing his fit by himself....which lasted about 20 minutes. 

Then he can in.  He said he would be nice and asked to go to the mall. 

"Sorry Gavin.  It's to late.  I'm glad that you decided to be nice, but we're not going to the mall.  The way you behaved and talked to me was wrong." 

"Mom!  You're so mean to me!  I WANT TO GO TO THE MALL RIGHT NOW!!"  Followed by more screaming. 

Ok.  The husband and I have been talking about this a lot lately.  He thinks I need to spank him.  It's really hard for me to spank my children.  It's one thing to swat their little hand when they try to touch the stove.  But spanking as a punishment?  I have mixed emotions about that. 

But I did.  I spanked him.  Seriously he was acting horrid.  I needed to get his attention.  He's 4 going on 14 and if I don't get this attitude in check I'm in trouble. 

He was sent to his room where he continued to throw stuff and scream and he was making himself sick with anger.  I went in there after time had past and the tantrum hadn't ceased. 

"Gavin?  Calm down.  You're going to making yourself crazy.  Come here." 

I sat on the bed.  He walked over with angry eyes and said, "I want to cut your head off!" 

I hugged him.  "Calm down my son.  Mommy loves you.  Please stop saying hurtful things that you don't mean." 

"I want to go to the mall!" 

"We're not going to the mall today.  You have a choice now.  You can be angry and mad for the rest of the day OR you can get over it.  You can come down stairs and eat lunch with us if you want.  I made PB&J...your favorite." 

Sigh.  It's been one of those days.

He gets his wild emotions from me.  I can totally relate.  But it's my job to teach him how to control them.  Right now I'm at a loss on how to do this.  He really is a sweet boy.  Just very moody and emotional.  He's got all the makings to be a very successful musician or artist. 

What did I learn from this?  It's to late to start a movie at 8pm. 

Back Talk

After my conversation with Gavin (4) this morning, I'm certain I'll have my work cut out for me when he's a teenager. 

Me~ What a beautiful morning!  Lets go play outside with our new sidewalk chalk!

Gavin~ No.  I want to watch a movie.

Me~ You can watch a movie later...when the girls are taking a nap.  Come on, lets play outside. 

Gavin~  NO!  I said WATCH A MOVIE!!  You are SOOOO mean!  **cry**

Me~ Really?  You're crying because I want to play with you outside?

Gavin~ No, I'm mad at you cause I want to watch a movie!  You never let me watch TV.  You're sooo mean!

Me~ That's enough.  And that's not true.  Keep up this attitude and I'll give you something to cry about. 

Gavin~ You better not.  I'll call the police. 

I would never DREAM of talking to my father like this....maybe I'm not very intimidating?  Zander (knock on wood) usually does what's expected....but Gavin, oh Gavin.  He has a flair for the dramatics. 

After I told Gavin that he wasn't being nice, I took the girls in the front yard to play...leaving him alone to mope.  Eventually (about 5 minutes) he joined us like nothing happened.  I made him hug me and apologize.

Have your children started talking back?  If so, what's your reaction? 

Fire Under Your Butt

I was helping the boys clean their room this evening. Gavin was messin' around, off in his own world, not helping his brother.



Then I did the unthinkable. I quoted my father. "Boy, I'm going to light a fire under your butt if you don't hurry!"



Gavin (age 4) burst into tears. "NO MOM! Please don't! I might DIE!"



Ooops. I felt horrible for scaring my baby but couldn't help but laugh at the whole situation.



First, the fact that that came out of my mouth. Then his literal translation. Ahhh...the joys of parenting.

#2

I get that little boys are "lucky" and can go to the bathroom almost anywhere.  It used to be cute how Gavin would drop his drawers and pee on any tree when the urge came.  Heck, it's better than peeing his pants, right?

Well this Momma has to draw the line. 

I'm afraid my second son will be known as #2 for a new reason.  Yup. That's right.  Gavin POOPED in our front yard!!  Oh, a mother has never been so proud. 

Seriously?!  I just don't get it.  What was he thinking??

He was busy playing with the neighborhood kids.  Ely was doing yardwork.  Gavin comes comes around the side of the house with his pants around his ankles headed for the front door.

"What are you doing?!"  Ely asked him.

"Going to wipe my butt." I need to look on the bright side....at least he has the decency to WIPE! 

I'm afraid the poor guys reputation is shot.  Their is no way his older brother or the other neighborhood kids are going to let him live this one down.  He will be forever known as "the kid who pooped in his front yard and then got in trouble and had to clean it up in front of everyone"!

That should be punishment enough...right?

Twin Troubles

If you came here for a funny story....not happening. There is nothing cute going on in my house this week. Instead the kids have been overly obnoxious (writing on faces with sharpies, Gavin of course) and the girls have been sick.

The twins, almost 21 months, have been separated at night since they were about 7 months old. The reason we did this was because they were starting to wake one another up. When we put them in different cribs, set up beside one another, the problem ceased and they were sleeping through the night once again.

OK, fast forward to the present time. I was putting the girls to bed the other night and Maya started crying. I asked her what was wrong and she stood up and reached her arms out saying "Sissy!"

It was so sweet. I laid her down next to her sister and they slept all night and actually slept in later than normal...8 AM!! (Usually up by 7, so this was amazing)

The girls have continued sleeping together at night. Unfortunately sleeping in until 8am was a one time thing.

Camille, the bitee

Nap time is a different story. Which brings me to a new problem we are facing......BITING! Ugh. My boys never really bit each other...well, not like this anyway.

SOOOO...I put them down for naps in the same crib. They had their little baby dolls and were playing....and then fighting....which, of course, led to biting. I had no clue at this point, I just heard screaming and crying....which I separated and they went to sleep.

Maya, the biter

I didn't notice until baths that night. Let me tell you...it was BAD! Poor little Camille had FOUR bite marks!

Any biting advice out there? Especially when you aren't around to see it? And if your going to tell me to bite my kid back, save it. Not going to happen.

Middle Child Syndrome??

I've had to focus a lot of my attention on Gavin lately. For those of you who don't know, Gavin is my 3 1/2 year old...the "middle" child. When he was only 2, the twins were born. I was so incredibly busy (and still am!) with the girls that he was, unfortunately, pushed to the side.

The first year of the twin's life was such an adjustment...for all of us. We all know how much love and attention TWO infants need, so naturally he was pushed away. "Let's watch TV" or "Go play with your brother." As a mother, this is really hard to admit....out load. But I own it. It is what it is. I did the best I knew how at the time...but am paying for it now!


All the attention he missed out on...being the baby...there is a lot of guilt there. I find myself making excuses for his bad behavior.

Gavin, just a week before the girls were born...still such a baby himself!

I know children are resilient. I haven't "scarred" my child in any way. BUT I know that I can do better by him. I refuse to give up on my little Dennis the Menace!



We started "date night" with the boys. This is special one on one time with mom or dad. It can be anything...a trip to the grocery store, library, movie, ice cream, park...the important thing is to spend quality time with Gavin, in particular.



Hopefully positive energy will transform into positive behavior. A mother can hope right?! Ideas, suggestions and encouragement are welcome!

This to shall pass...

I am sitting at the kitchen table, trying to muster up enough willpower to not crawl into bed and cry. It's been one of those days.

I got up extra early this morning, and took Ely to the airport at 4:30 AM. He'll be gone for a week....a meditation retreat in Florida. This change in events have really thrown off the usually scheduled day.

When I got home, I had an hour to myself, then it was time to wake the kids and get Zander ready for school.

From school we met up with some friends for a playdate. Had a great time. Afterwords went to lunch with friends...from there things started to go south...

When we got home I decided I needed to take a nap with the kids. I was starting to get delirious from lack of sleep!

When the kids nap, I usually get caught up with housework...but not today....the house is still a wreck. A clean house is a sign of an unlived life, right? sigh.

After naps, loaded my crew up n the minivan, and picked Zander up from school. From there we went to Target. Mistake. My theory was, the house is a mess, Ely's not there to pick up the slack, so I'm just going to take the kids shoe shopping and do a drive through on the way home. Good idea, but Gavin (the leader of the Irish Mafia) did not agree to this plan. As soon as we entered Target my dear son threw a tantrum, yelling and crying that he wanted chocolate milk from Starbucks. I just bribed him in the van on the way there ...."If you are good boys, you get a happy meal!" I thought I had my bases covered. Hey, no judging, I'm not above bribing my kids. You try shopping with 4 little ones!

Let me get back to this tantrum. I can not express to you the lengths he went. From jumping, to stomping, to yelling and screaming. Nothing was working so he tried to make himself sick! He actually said, "Mom, if you don't stop I'm going to throw up!"

I was mortified. I pulled him to the bathroom....let me add that I'm pushing a double stroller AND physically dragging a 3 year old behind me. The whole time he is yelling, "No Mom! You're hurting me! I don't want a spankin!"

We get into the bathroom, he gets a spanking, and I sit him in the corner where he then proceeds to try to make himself sick.

I am ready to crumble and break down. Why is he acting this way?! I was on the verge of tears when a woman came out of the stall. She said, "It's nice to see a mother disciplining her child in public. So many just threaten. You're doing a good job dear." And she left.

I NEEDED that little pick me up. Thank you mystery lady! It's so hard not to let your emotions control you...especially when your children are acting up. Things didn't get better after that little incident, but oh-well. This to shall pass.

This seems to be the boy's favorite spot.

Well it's nearly 9:oo at night and breakfast dishes are still in the sink. Off to take care of laundry and chores that didn't get done today. How do single parents do it?

Irish Mafia

I took the 3 youngest to the mall today after we dropped Zander off at school. Thought we'd play at the indoor playground before it got to busy. The first 30 minutes or so were very pleasant. Only a few other children were there.

Don't be fooled by these sweet faces, Camille & Maya

But as time passed my 3 little angels decided to start a turn into brats. I will now refer to my 3 redheads as the Irish Mafia. They were terrorizers! Gavin just crawled around growling at the other kids. His goal was to scare as many little girls as possible. And my sweet little twins? They were even worse. They would actually gang up on other kids....and hit!



Maya as this high pitched squeal that she let out anytime anyone tried to get near her, then Camille would come running to her rescue and slap the innocent bi stander. It was very embarrassing to see them act this way. I am hoping this is "just a phase" and I can nip this behavior in the bud real fast.



When I told Ely (my hubby) about this new problem he grinned, sat up all proud and said, "Well, they aren't little sissy girls. They're tough." Great. They already have their daddy whooped into thinking they can do no wrong.



I did learn a valuable lesson in all this. Never, EVER will I judge another mother for the way her children act. Jeez, my kids are hellions.

Competition

Ok, fellow Mother's, it's officially started...sibling rivalry, competition, whatever you want to call it. And let me tell you, it's not pretty.

Last week, at our TMOM's meeting (Tulsa Mother's of Multiples) we had a panel of older school age twins. We could ask them questions. The subject of competition came up. After listening to them I started to watch my girls. It's crazy. One will come up and give me a big sweet hug and kiss, then the other will "get jealous" come over and push the other out of the way to get to me. Not only are the competing for my affection, but the opposite as well.

For instance, today, Maya was standing on the fireplace....a no-no in our house....I tell her to sit down, she looks at me, sasses me in her baby talk and I physically remove her from the fireplace. So what does Camille do? Goes to the fireplace, stands up, and yells at me...as if to dare me to remove her.

It's like this all day long....and according to the older twins on the panel, not going to end anytime soon. sigh.

4 going on 15

Major attitude is coming out of my almost 5 year old's mouth lately. Not sure where it's coming from...hope it's just a phase.

Take this morning...I'm fixing breakfast. He's sitting up at the breakfast bar, being very impatient and whining. "I'm hungry right now Mama! What is taking you so long?" Then to top it off he added, "You need to start fixing breakfast while I'm asleep and have it ready for me to eat when I wake up."

Ummm....I don't think so. I sent him to bed until his oatmeal was ready. Hey, it was his idea!

Where did my sweet babies go?

Zander's such a good big brother!

The girls are ten months already. The baby books say you should start "disciplining" them now. Amen to that! I'm at a loss at what to do. Maya and Camille both are VERY strong willed....to put it mildly. They literally scream at me 70% of the day. I have taught them sign language, but they scream while signing. It was cute at first and jokingly said it was because they were "feisty redheads" but we're heading down a road that's not so cute. It's not a "I discovered my voice scream" it's more angry and demanding. Hopefully it's just a phase and Mommy's sweet little girls will be returning soon. Anyone with advice on "disciplining" a ten month old? Sigh. Check out this link to see the my precious twin girls at 4 months. So sweet...I just thought I had it tough then. HA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GXn-1RJOwM ...turn up your sound and try not to smile!