Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Middle Child Syndrome??

I've had to focus a lot of my attention on Gavin lately. For those of you who don't know, Gavin is my 3 1/2 year old...the "middle" child. When he was only 2, the twins were born. I was so incredibly busy (and still am!) with the girls that he was, unfortunately, pushed to the side.

The first year of the twin's life was such an adjustment...for all of us. We all know how much love and attention TWO infants need, so naturally he was pushed away. "Let's watch TV" or "Go play with your brother." As a mother, this is really hard to admit....out load. But I own it. It is what it is. I did the best I knew how at the time...but am paying for it now!

All the attention he missed out on...being the baby...there is a lot of guilt there. I find myself making excuses for his bad behavior.

Gavin, just a week before the girls were born...still such a baby himself!

I know children are resilient. I haven't "scarred" my child in any way. BUT I know that I can do better by him. I refuse to give up on my little Dennis the Menace!

We started "date night" with the boys. This is special one on one time with mom or dad. It can be anything...a trip to the grocery store, library, movie, ice cream, park...the important thing is to spend quality time with Gavin, in particular.

Hopefully positive energy will transform into positive behavior. A mother can hope right?! Ideas, suggestions and encouragement are welcome!


Rachel said...

It's amazing, when I read your blogs, how much your life sounds like mine! Poor Asher... my middle child! I can relate...you are not alone!!

Darla said...

You are doing a great job and this life experience will be one of many that will shape a great and unique personality!

suburban hippie mama said...

Thanks ladies! It's nice to know that I'm not alone. And Darla, that was very well put...thanks!

Martha said...

You ARE doing a great job! It is so hard on that "middle child" because even though they are still just a baby they are expected to be the "big" brother/sister (Avrah is my middle..she was only 21 months when babies were born) I think that she plays alone by herself so well now because I didn't have the time to play with her like I would have without the babies. And I know that breaks my heart, but like you said it is what it is. We can't change the past we can just be better now, and I think doing a "date night" with the kids is a GREAT idea. One on one time is very coveted when there are so many children

Brenda Collins said...

Dana, thanks for sharing. Lexi will be a month from 2 when our twins are born. I appreciate your honesty and support! I am concerned about how this will impact Lexi and her little life. Thank you for opening up and sharing ideas!!!

StefGoodman said...

I found your blog from soshesays...and I just had to tell you that I think you're absolutely gorgeous. I hope that isn't weird from a stranger, lol :o)