Monday, November 22, 2010

your guide to surviving the carpool lane

Today my kids and I nearly witnessed a fist fight between two dads in the drop off and carpool lane at their elementary school because one was "doing it wrong".  It's serious business people.  Especially if you're running late on a Monday morning.

Pick Up & Drop Off Survival Guide

1.  There is only a 15 minute window when children can be dropped off before school.  If you arrive in the first 5 minutes you should be fine.  The other parents are more forgiving if your child gets his coat shut in the door (Gavin!) and they have to wait an extra 30 seconds.  If you arrive 5 minutes until the bell rings you will most likely hear honks and/or get flipped the bird.

2.  When you pull into the school parking lot order your children to unbuckle and put their backpacks on.  Every second counts!  Have them stand and file in a single line on the right side of the minivan, ready to jump out when the door opens.  Be sure to say your "I love yous" and "Have a good day's" while you are still in the line of vehicles.  Once you are in the zone you will have no time for all that.  Multi-task people. 

3.  When you finally make it to the front of the line and put your car into park have your kids hop out quickly.   No parents under any circumstance is allowed out of the vehicle in the drop off lane!  What?  Your kindergartner is having trouble with their 5 point harness car seat?  Well, my friend, you need to park your car a block from the school and walk your child in.....other wise you are running risk of being an outcast at the PTA.....just sayin'. 

Bonus Tip:  Run drills and practice all summer long.  ;) 

What's your pet peeve in the drop off lane at school? 

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Zoo Trip

We enjoyed a beautiful day at the Tulsa Zoo today. 

It's been a long time since we've ALL enjoyed the day together.

Gavin's favorite subject was "penis" today.  Don't really understand his fascination with the word or the actual member itself.....but whatever, he's four.  And he's a boy.  I suppose it comes with the territory?

We were looking at the elephants when Sneezy (the male elephant) used the bathroom.  Gavin blurted out in a crowd of people "WOW!  Look at the size of that penis!" 

"Gavin, SHHHHHHH!!!"  I begged.

"That's the biggest penis I've ever seen!!  Holy Moly!!"  he continued to yell.  The crowd of on lookers cracked up.....which, of course, egged Gavin on. 

Ely and I were laughing so hard our stomachs ached.  Great parenting, I know.....but have you ever seen a male elephant pee?!  In my son's defense, it is a sight.  It's like a 5th leg. 

Gotta copy big brothers! 

At the petting zoo Gavin  brought up his favorite topic again.  He was bragging to a group of adults about all the animals he's seen that day.  "I saw a cow....and guess what?!  He had FIVE penises!"  The ladies mouth dropped and the men rolled with laughter. 

I was mortified at the time, had no idea what he was talking about until the stranger corrected him between his hiccups of laughter, "You mean utters, son?" 

"Whatever,"  Gavin said.  "They look like penises"

.  Oh geez.  Please let this be a phase.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Conversation While in Bed

Tonight as I was putting the boys to bed I overheard a conversation that was TOOOOO funny not to document.

Gavin:  I'm 8 years old.

Zander:  No your not.  I'm 6 and you're only 4. 

Gavin:  I'm older then you.

Zander:  (getting very upset)  No your NOT!  I'm 6, your 4!!

Gavin:  I'm older.

Zander:  You're my baby brother.

Gavin: (getting upset)  I am NOT a baby!

Zander:  I'm older then you, so you're my baby brother.

Gavin:  Yeah?  Well, I'm cuter then you.

Zander:  Whatever.